Immortality
by bunjamina66
Summary: Episode tag to ‘Before I Sleep’. Finding an older version of yourself is a pretty freaky thing and Elizabeth needs to talk to someone about it. The last person she expected to listen is a certain grumpy, egocentric astrophysicist.


**Immortality **

**By Flossy**

Disclaimer: The following story is a work of fan fiction, and as such is for fan enjoyment only. All recognizable characters/settings are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended, and no profit is made. I'm afraid that despite wishing that I did, I don't own these characters. Not even my muses' voodoo could make them mine (and believe me, they used a LOT of chicken blood and other such occult doodads), nor could my militant blue badgers. DO NOT MESS WITH THE BADGERS. Still, I suppose that having the boys out on loan for a while is better than nothing…

Summary: Episode tag to 'Before I Sleep'. Finding an older version of yourself is a pretty freaky thing and Elizabeth needs to talk to someone about it. The last person she expected to listen is a certain grumpy, egocentric astrophysicist.

Central Character(s): Rodney and Elizabeth.

Category (ies): Friendship, very mild angst, some humour.

Placement: Season One, not long after 'Before I Sleep'.

Rating: PG.

Spoilers: 'Before I Sleep'.

Author's Note: Yet another story in my 'Aftermath' series. I wanted to write a Rodney/Elizabeth piece but didn't know how to do it. Then I saw this episode and the badgers mauled me. They're violent little critters when they want to be…

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Elizabeth Weir sighed and looked out at the ocean, leaning heavily on the balcony rail. The last twenty four hours had been a real rollercoaster of emotions and to say she was feeling strange was the understatement of the year.

After all, it wasn't every day you found another version of yourself, and then learnt that said copy saved the lives of everyone in Atlantis. Before this morning, she'd thought that time travel wasn't viable, and that alternate realities were more SG-1's territory. The expedition had only been in the Pegasus Galaxy for a short time and they'd already met the Wraith (the thought of which terrified her), suicidal children, gas creatures that could create virtual environments, the Genii (another thing to add to her growing list of nightmares) and a nanovirus that had killed at least five people. Atlantis was full of surprises… and death.

They'd lost some good people. Gaul, Abrams, Johnson, Wagner, Dumais, Hayes, Peterson… the list was slowly but steadily growing. And when you added the number of near misses from Major John Sheppard and Dr Rodney McKay, it didn't exactly make for comforting feelings.

And now there was another casualty, another name to add. Dr Elizabeth Weir.

She shuddered involuntarily – today, she'd met an older version of herself, learnt about Janus and his modified Puddle Jumper, found that all of the expedition had actually died when they'd first set foot in the city of the Ancients, been given the addresses of not one but five potential ZPMs and watched herself give up the ghost from old age.

Elizabeth felt an almost overwhelming sense of loneliness – in another time, she'd willingly stayed alone to ensure the safety of everyone, had given up everything to ensure that the fate of the original expedition wasn't repeated. Part of her felt a burst of pride and relief, but still…

She turned sharply as she heard the doors to the balcony swish open. As her eyes adjusted to the sudden burst of light, she saw McKay.

"Oh, ah, Elizabeth," he stuttered. "Sorry, I didn't think anyone was out here."

"It's fine, Rodney," she replied, smiling inwardly at how awkward he seemed.

"You obviously want some time to think. I'll go…" He headed back for the doors.

"No, wait," she called, holding out a hand to stop him. True, she had wanted to be by herself, but maybe talking would help to straighten out her thoughts and push out the isolation. "You're welcome to join me," she offered.

McKay hesitated for a minute, clearly uneasy about intruding on a private moment, but then walked up and came to a stop by her side. "It's beautiful out here," he said quietly.

Elizabeth looked sideways at him – wow. That wasn't something she'd ever expected to come out of the brash scientist's mouth. "It is," she agreed. "I find it very peaceful."

Rodney shifted his gaze from the water to his friend and expedition leader. Elizabeth Weir was one of the strongest women he'd ever met and, despite his lack of people skills, he could tell something was troubling her. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she said, not sounding convincing. "I was just thinking about…"

"About the other Elizabeth?"

Weir frowned. Since when had Rodney McKay gotten so good at reading people? "Yes. Among other things."

"It's understandable," McKay said. "I'm having a hard time getting my head around the physics of it myself."

Of course, the whole drowning in the Gate room tale. That had really shaken her, more than she'd admit. The thought of losing both Rodney and Peter to the ocean terrified her, but the idea that McKay would be so willing to sacrifice himself to save others had made her start to reassess her opinion of the loud physicist. Even though it was a Rodney McKay from another reality, Elizabeth had the feeling that when push came to shove, her McKay would leap into the path of danger just as readily.

She'd already seen flashes of that self-sacrificing side of the Canadian, proving that there was a lot more to the man than met the eye. She kept that to herself though – Rodney didn't exactly need an ego boost.

"That was a bit of a shock," she conceded.

"True, but not as big as finding an older version of myself."

"It's just hard getting my head around the fact that she was me," Elizabeth admitted softly. "That she… I… would sacrifice everything… would give up my life… to ensure the safety of hundreds."

"She wasn't you," Rodney said abruptly. "Yes, she shared your name and looks… well, she did when she was younger… but you're a different person." He reached out hesitantly and laid a hand on her arm. "I know that you'd have done exactly the same thing in her place though. Just like I'd willingly drown to buy you more time, or Sheppard would lay down his life to protect any one of us without so much as a second thought. I guess some things stay the same regardless of what dimension you're in."

Elizabeth couldn't help but smile a little at that. "I just… I wish we could have done more for her."

Rodney nodded. "Me too. She was… she was a really nice lady."

"Yes," she replied, thinking back to other Elizabeth's dying words. "She certainly was."

"_You gave up your entire life…"_

"_No, because we are the same person. The best part of my life – it's just beginning. I'm exploring a new galaxy. I have years ahead of me still. Trust yourself, Elizabeth. All that matters is right now…"_

Were they really the same? Or was Rodney right? She let out a breath and closed her eyes. All her life, she'd relied on her instincts to help her, to guide her when things got difficult. But the more she thought about it, the more she realised that both her older self and McKay were correct. She and her other self were essentially the same person, and always would be regardless of what reality they existed in.

Rodney and Elizabeth stood in companionable silence for a few moments, listening to the waves crashing softly against the base of the city. "She was a remarkable woman," Elizabeth said eventually. "I was considering holding a memorial but…"

"It'd be kind of odd having one for yourself?" Rodney guessed, raising an eyebrow when his friend nodded. "Trust me, Elizabeth, it would be the last thing she would have wanted. She'd want us to carry on exploring the Pegasus Galaxy, living our lives, doing our jobs. She never struck me as the solemn remembrance type."

Elizabeth found herself laughing. "No," she said. "No, I suppose not. And that's what I would want – for everyone to carry on with their lives."

"Exactly. And thanks to her, we have the addresses of five potential Zed PMs. The best thing we can do to honour her memory is get out there and find them." Rodney looked at her with a crooked smile. "I, uh, I have some hot chocolate left," he said conspiratorially. "Think of it as a belated birthday present?"

"The way to a woman's heart is via chocolate," Weir replied, smiling. She was amazed to find that she felt better, and even more astounded that it was thanks to a conversation with Rodney. John must have been rubbing off on him. "One question," she said as they headed for the doors, "how did you know it was my birthday?"

Rodney grinned. "I _am_ a genius, Elizabeth. It wasn't that hard to find out." He flushed slightly and added in an undertone, "Plus Sheppard asked me to hack into the personnel files."

Laughing, she followed the Chief of Science inside, all thoughts of time travel and alternate realities banished.

FIN


End file.
